okay bulgemunchers the shit is here delivered directly to your door
by green bug
Summary: you asked for it now you got it you fools


8:43 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ The hot land breeze stirs your damp hair and makes your gills itch as you arrive at Tanaly's hive, which, predictably enough, is isolated and fucking hard to locate. You've been running flat out for about half an hour from the sea to here through various cryptically arranged and carved canyons and crevasses, but your perfect conditioning from a life spent swimming around at high velocity means you're barely out of breath. The hive is jacked tight the fuck into a towering cliff face, the only way in being a shitty little door behind a gunk shrub, and the many ways out being shittier tunnels you're pretty sure Tanaly dug herself. A decent way off the ground a window glimmers buggily. She might be dead in there already.

 _[_ 8:44 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ The fucking pain in the ass ladder isn't actually how Tanaly gets in, she just levitates herself through a window, so the thing hasn't been maintained and a long section of it apparently fell the fuck off into the shaft recently. It occurs to you that that might have been an intentional trap. Fucking Tanaly.

 _[_ 8:44 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ You somehow scrape up the ladder and into a cramped lobby of sorts, Tanaly's door only a couple of feet from you. It's sturdy, but it's been kicked open.

 _[_ 8:45 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ [over 2 you fuckboy]

 _[_ 8:45 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd approach wearily, with Megatoothkind at the ready.) HellO? TanalY? ArE yoU deaD?

 _[_ 8:46 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd enter the room)

New Messages

 _[_ 8:46 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd be standing in a position ready for attack as I walked carefully inside)

8:50 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly heaves herself up on the couch, almost crying out as the wound in her side bends and splits open a little bit again. "Not yet," she hisses woozily, eyes flicking around the room a bit before landing on him.

 _[_ 8:50 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Lots of blood in me, seems like."

 _[_ 8:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I...

 _[_ 8:51 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I woulD huG yoU buT yoU mighT hiT mE iF I squeezeD thE wounD bY accidenT.

 _[_ 8:52 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Green and purple are smeared and soaked all over her clothes and hair. There's more purple on the knife, so... you guess the green must be hers. "Also I'd stab you for that, get over here and stop me dying."

PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ AlrighT. (I'd be less tense as I walked over to her, putting my weapon away.)

 _[_ 8:53 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {whoops}

 _[_ 8:53 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (Megatoothkind away)*

 _[_ 8:55 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Mmgh." Tanaly doesn't see the need to elaborate on the statement. "The lower calcium stalk in my left leg is fucked, there's a hole in my side, I'm covered in bruises, and my fucking finger is over there... somewhere over there. Unless he took it with him." She squinches her eyes shut, blinks to try and get them to focus. "There's a smashed purpleblood in my respiteblock."

 _[_ 8:55 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Broke his skull open by the horns, she mutters.

 _[_ 8:56 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ A PurpleblooD?

 _[_ 8:56 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ HuH.

8:57 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {yeh}

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Stick that huh up your ass I'm _dying_ , Harkey," she says, wheezily.

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {...Are calsium stalks bones?}

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Did I just now get that?}

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {they're equivalent to bones. i made them up}

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {I LOVE IT

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ }*

 _[_ 8:57 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {THANX}

 _[_ 8:58 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WelL, I'M sorrY foR noT havinG expirencE keepinG TrollS alivE.

 _[_ 8:58 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {fuck i was relying on you having an interest in this or at least knowledge}

 _[_ 8:59 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {youd better at least know how to stop bloodflow that shit draws predators in water}

 _[_ 8:59 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Harkey normally doesn't involve himself with physical wellness of others}

 _[_ 8:59 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {I do}

 _[_ 8:59 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {good enough}

 _[_ 8:59 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I dO neeD somE peicE oF a shirT somewherE. I caN stoP thE bleedinG thaT waY.

 _[_ 9:00 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (Harkey is worrying inside INTENSELY)

 _[_ 9:00 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [YES KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE REMEDY AND NOT THAT YOUR FRIEND IS DYING OR ANYTHING HAHA]

 _[_ 9:01 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "There's more in my respiteblock. Don't get his blood on you," Tanaly adds, slurring her words a bit. God her blood is all over the couch now.

 _[_ 9:01 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd grab a shirt and tear it in half, minding the Purpleblood.)

 _[_ 9:02 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd look at the Purpleblood and stomp his chest inwards, and turn my attention back to Tanaly.)

 _[_ 9:02 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {He was not amused with the Purpleblood, dead or not.}

 _[_ 9:03 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ fuuck gotta go

 _[_ 9:03 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ be back in like half an hour

 _[_ 9:32 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WelL, minE aS welL stoP thiS bleedinG.

 _[_ 9:32 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd sit near her and start by appling a bit of pressure, then starting to wrap around her torso.)

 _[_ 9:33 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ThiS shoulD bE patcheD uP iN nO timE.

 _[_ 9:33 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "You moronic fish you... you don't apply dressings on top of a bloody shirt that's not how it fucking works..."

 _[_ 9:33 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Oh god have you been doing that the whole time? Why aren't you dead of an infection?"

 _[_ 9:33 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ IT stopS iT froM bleedinG.

 _[_ 9:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ SaltwateR killS bacteriA.

 _[_ 9:34 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm not underwater. Take my shirt off you coward and do it properly or I'll do something unspeakable to you with what's left of my psionics."

 _[_ 9:35 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UgH, fine.

:35 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UH.

 _[_ 9:35 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {THE FRAGRANCE OF DARK-COLORED COFFEE}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Yes}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Godot's theme.}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {"Darker then the blackest night, and hotter then hell itself...THAT is coffee."}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {FUCKING GODOT}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {METAL}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Yep}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {also does this music fit}

 _[_ 9:36 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {casual and nice}

 _[_ 9:37 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WelL? TakE ofF youR shirT.

 _[_ 9:37 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;1

 _[_ 9:38 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Look it's not that easy my muscles are like stew at the moment..." Tanaly peels the torn, sodden garment off laboriously and drops it on the floor with a small "ech". "I'm gonna throw it out my window soon."

 _[_ 9:38 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Since I'm assuming trolls don't have the same biology there's really nothing embarressed under shirts but Harkey finds it rude to take off other's close, I guess.}

 _[_ 9:39 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ AlrighT, herE wE gO.

 _[_ 9:39 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {nah they have tits for some reason}

 _[_ 9:39 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {clothes*}

 _[_ 9:39 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {oh ok}

 _[_ 9:39 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ IgnorE anY colorS yoU seE oN mY facE that'S noT greY.

 _[_ 9:40 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ EspicallY anY FuchiA tints.

 _[_ 9:40 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd start by applying a bit of pressure, and slowly start wrapping around the torso making sure the cloth is steady.)

 _[_ 9:40 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ tintS.*

 _[_ 9:41 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I'M takinG a mercY anD noT makinG thiS awkwarD.

 _[_ 9:41 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I totallY coulD.

 _[_ 9:41 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd start blushing a bit, but whatever.)

 _[_ 9:42 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [OKAY COOL JUST KEEP WRAPPING THE CLOTH.]

 _[_ 9:42 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [PLEASE JUST FOCUS ON THE CLOTH.]

 _[_ 9:42 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [ _PLEASE._ ]

 _[_ 9:42 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [TANALY YOU FUCKING OWE ME]

 _[_ 9:42 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ TanalY, yoU fuckinG owE mE, biG timE.

 _[_ 9:43 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly laughs like a semi-clogged gutter, regretting it a bit. "You don't need to make it awkward you're suffering already and I'm not feeling anything except pain and repressed but screeching protection instincts." She squints at him. "Haha god you're fucking losing it. Cool."

 _[_ 9:43 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE FUN OF ME.

9:43 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I CAN STILL PUNCH YOU IN THE WOUND.

 _[_ 9:43 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_...BUT YOU MIGHT MAKE ME ATTACK MY BULGE SO NO.

 _[_ 9:44 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ THAT IS _NOT A DESIRED OUTCOME_. (I'd ramble on, turning a deeper shade.)

 _[_ 9:44 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Gotta let off steam somehow. Being touched is really fucking bad. All the time. Always." Tanaly listens to him kind of unravelling and fe brb

 _[_ 9:44 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {RIP}

 _[_ 9:45 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {HARKEY IS NOT OKAY (TM)}

 _[_ 9:46 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {why does it still say you're online?}

 _[_ 9:48 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ fuck me it's all gone

 _[_ 9:48 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ collect everything since I came back

 _[_ 9:48 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WelL? TakE ofF youR shirT.

10:12 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Gotta let off steam somehow. Being touched is really fucking bad. All the time. Always." Tanaly listens to him kind of unravelling and feels a little bit better. As better as you feel when you're potentially fatally wounded and you have a weird-smelling clammy troll who could crush your head between two of his fingers pawing you awkwardly.

 _[_ 10:12 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm glad I'm not entirely lucid right now," she mutters hazily.

 _[_ 10:12 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YoU havE nO cluE hoW glaD I aM.

 _[_ 10:13 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Still never gonna forget it. If only due to the trauma of being physically near you for any length of time- FUCK OW DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE"

 _[_ 10:13 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ MaybE.

 _[_ 10:13 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;)

 _[_ 10:14 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ BuT, yoU seE whY yoU neeD thiS sO calleD "palE bullshiT"?

 _[_ 10:14 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ActuallY, thiS waS a shittY timE tO brinG thaT uP.

 _[_ 10:15 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Go on because I can't actually stop you-" Tanaly winced awkwardly and probably audibly. "No don't stop you made your recuperacoon now fatally suffocate in it"(edited)

 _[_ 10:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ :1

 _[_ 10:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;1*

 _[_ 10:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WE shoulD almosT bE donE.

 _[_ 10:16 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ IF I didn'T havE a reasoN tO hatE yoU, I dO noW.

 _[_ 10:16 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ PuttinG mE througH thiS-(He'd mutter) AwkwarD.-ShiT.

 _[_ 10:17 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Yeah naturally you blame me for being nearly murdered by a nutjob. Fuck ow."

 _[_ 10:17 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ AT thiS poinT, thE recuperacooN doesn'T sounD thaT baD.

 _[_ 10:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I think it has that guy's frontal lobe stuck in it."

 _[_ 10:18 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I meanT thE fataL suffocatioN parT.

 _[_ 10:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm okay with this because I'm more than halfway disassociating and nothing has sunk in yet."

 _[_ 10:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Oh, yeah, be my guest," Tanaly murmurs.

 _[_ 10:18 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I aM sO makinG thiS sinK iN wheN you'rE luciD.

 _[_ 10:19 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ _SO._

 _[_ 10:19 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_...I waS goinG tO makE a jokE thaT woulD probablY havE yoU hatE mE eveN morE.

 _[_ 10:20 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Thanks it's on my to-do list to give you gory unquenchable nightmares too," Tanaly replies. "Difficult feat while you're touching my body, I'd say," she adds once her brain catches up with the second thing he said.(edited)

 _[_ 10:21 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd tense up and stop wrapping)

 _[_ 10:21 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (Welp, if his face wasn't a deep shade yet, it is now.)

 _[_ 10:21 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (A very deep shade.)

 _[_ 10:21 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ PleasE telL mE I didn'T heaR whaT I thinK I jusT hearD.

 _[_ 10:22 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK TANALY]

 _[_ 10:22 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm not hitting on you you desperate fuck." Good thing my blood is all over the sofa or I'd be as green as... something, she thinks blurrily. "Really."

 _[_ 10:23 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ KeeP tellinG yourselF thaT.

 _[_ 10:23 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WoulD iT bE toO weirD iF I gavE yoU a complimenT oveR thiS?

 _[_ 10:23 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YeaH, probablY.

 _[_ 10:23 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ NeverminD, theN.

 _[_ 10:24 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "My blood is literally smeared on your hands. If you complement me you deserve death."

 _[_ 10:24 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ _Why would he fucking complement me anyway._

 _[_ 10:25 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ OkaY, sO sincE it'S blantantlY establsheD thaT I deservE deatH anywaY,

 _[_ 10:25 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ NicE physicaL figurE.

 _[_ 10:25 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WaS thaT toO inappropriatE?

 _[_ 10:25 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly makes a pretty sprited attempt to gouge his eye with her thumb.

 _[_ 10:26 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "FUCKING WOW."

 _[_ 10:26 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I TAKE THIS AS A YES.

 _[_ 10:26 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ OKAY WELL I'M SORRY I GAVE YOU A COMPLIMENT. I DON'T SPEND ALOT OF TIME WITH OTHER TROLLS, YOU KNOW.

 _[_ 10:26 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ SO I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG THERE.

 _[_ 10:27 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm gonna snap your horns with my mind son of a bitch stop touching me as soon as possible"

 _[_ 10:27 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YoU keeP movinG anD I can'T geT thE shirT righT.

 _[_ 10:28 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Fucking bite me no don't that would be disgusting jesus Christ"

 _[_ 10:29 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly stops trying to limply squash his eyeball and settles the fuck down mostly out of exhaustion. The fuck does he think he's up to. The fuck. What kind of bizarre bugnasty flirting was that. Fucking hell. "Fuck off," she mutters.

 _[_ 10:29 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [BITE HER. That's a terrible idea. I'm not gonna do that.] (I'd think as I'd lick my lips, then shake away the thought.)(edited)

 _[_ 10:29 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (The lip licking was blatantly obvious.)

 _[_ 10:32 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Harkey feels a bizarre pressure in the center of his torso before the impact knocks him skidding across the hive and into a shitty chair. "Motherfucker," hisses Tanaly, hauling her shirt back on, "gold-plated incestuous fish-fucker," she drags herself up on one arm and folds up again dismally.(edited)

 _[_ 10:32 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ W-WHAT?

 _[_ 10:32 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {in case i didn't make it clear she brain slapped him}

 _[_ 10:33 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ THAT FUCKING FELT _AWFUL_.(edited)

 _[_ 10:33 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "YOU LICKED YOUR LIPS fucker! brb

New Messages

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {RIP}

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UH.

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ FUCK.

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WELL.

 _[_ 10:34 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UH.

 _[_ 10:35 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UHHHHH.

 _[_ 10:35 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ SHIT.

 _[_ 10:45 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly realises she still needs him to do something with her leg. And probably to fuck around with dressings and shit on later occasions. "Listen," she says, taking a deep breath. "Finish the job without being a fucking gross creep and I won't throw you again." She actually doesn't think she could. Blowing him across the hive was a lot better than she was expecting to be able to wring out of the oversqueezed key lime of her brain.

 _[_ 10:45 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {fucking hell harkey why are you like this}

 _[_ 10:46 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ IT WAS A SUBCONCIOUS THING.

 _[_ 10:46 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ALSO, YOU DID BRING UP THE TERM OF "BITE ME." SO, YOU DID KINDA BRING THAT UPON YOURSELF.

 _[_ 10:47 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Fuck you."

 _[_ 10:47 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ [That was a prime example for a joke but I don't want her to permanately hate me.]

 _[_ 10:47 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I woulD watcH youR worD choicE.

 _[_ 10:48 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I would watch your ganderbulbs because I'm on the tipping point of popping them like grapes."

 _[_ 10:48 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WhateveR, let'S jusT fiX yoU alreadY.

 _[_ 10:49 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {"subconscious thing" harkey do you have some kind of weirdass predation instincts}

 _[_ 10:49 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd walk back over and finish up the dressing, trying to to subconciously lick my lips because wow she-okay let's not.)

 _[_ 10:49 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Shark themes, so I thought it would fit a biting thing.}

 _[_ 10:49 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {HARKEY ARE YOU EXCITED BY THREATS OF PSYCHIC MUTILATION AND BEING THROWN ACROSS A ROOM}

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {THAT'S PROBABLY PRETTY STANDARD FOR A HIGHBLOOD HONESTLY}

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {NO HE'S JUST VERY LONELY}

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ { _VERY_ }

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {YEAH THAT TOO

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ }*

 _[_ 10:50 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {He doesn't like many people.}

 _[_ 10:51 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {listen tanaly's body is not objectively hot by any means he's got either low standards, an open mind, or an unnoticed infatuation, and I think I know which we're dealing with here}

 _[_ 10:51 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {mix all three, but less so of the first one.}

 _[_ 10:52 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd finish up with the dressing, and sit back on the couch next to her.)

 _[_ 10:52 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YoU SO fuckinG owE mE.

 _[_ 10:52 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ _ **SO.**_

 _[_ 10:53 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly leans very obviously on the opposite end of the bloodied couch. "... What."

 _[_ 10:53 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WhaT dO yoU meaN whaT?

 _[_ 10:54 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "So what. Where are you going with this you pink bastard."

 _[_ 10:54 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (He still hasn't dropped much of a shade of blushing.)

 _[_ 10:54 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YOU-I-FUUUCK I DON'T KNOW

 _[_ 10:55 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;(

 _[_ 10:55 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I can tell you what you're going to do. You're going to get out of my hive and leave me to process my deep trauma in fucking peace. Asshat."

 _[_ 10:55 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ IS THIS A SUGGESTION

 _[_ 10:56 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "This is get out of my hive before I fight you with my fucking brain."

 _[_ 10:56 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ WELL YOUR CALCIUM STALKS STILL NEED TENDING TO.

 _[_ 10:56 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ _AND_ You'rE bluffinG.

 _[_ 10:56 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ You'lL makE yourselF braindeaD.

 _[_ 10:58 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Tanaly tenses up another level as she realises her last card has been bled on and messily eaten and she's alone and mostly incapacitated with a moronic, armed highblood with some kind of twisted gore crush on her. Letting him in was such a fucking mistake. Oh god.

 _[_ 10:59 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ConsiderinG I don'T wanT yoU tO diE oR hatE mE foreveR, I wilL finisH thiS uP sooN anD leavE.

 _[_ 11:00 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I'M probablY noT gonnA attacK yoU eitheR waY, iF that'S whaT you'rE worrieD abouT.

 _[_ 11:00 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Yeah haha things I don't buy: that."

 _[_ 11:00 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "This is Alternia and you're literally the highest on the spectrum you could shred me like paper and you probably have anger issues."

 _[_ 11:01 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I'M prettY calM abouT iT righT noW.

 _[_ 11:01 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I havE dummieS tO takE iT ouT oN, anD that'S rarE.

 _[_ 11:01 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ UsuallY I jusT leavE theM alonE.

 _[_ 11:02 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ AlsO, I coulD oF killeD yoU alreadY, sO.

 _[_ 11:02 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Ech. Get on with it." Do you jerk off on the dummies instead? goes unsaid, but it's basically as good as out there anyway.

 _[_ 11:03 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ AlrighT, herE wE gO.

 _[_ 11:03 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {The Dummies were an Undertale refrence, for the record.}

 _[_ 11:03 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {figured}

 _[_ 11:03 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd take the rest of the other shirt and make a sling for your leg that would hang off of your arm, keeping both stable.)

 _[_ 11:04 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ YoU alsO mighT wanT tO puT youR shirT bacK oN.

 _[_ 11:04 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {i see harkey as having pretty goddamn bad highblood rages but its an all or nothing thing. he's either alright or really really fucking violently pissed. doesn't happen much but he usually breaks a lot of his stuff}

 _[_ 11:05 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {Yep.}

 _[_ 11:05 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {He usually sits in a corner afterward for such violent outbursts.}

 _[_ 11:05 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {It's relatively unpleasent for him.}

 _[_ 11:05 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "You bet I do," Tanaly mutters, hauling the now mostly dried garment back on. "Piss off."

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {i think also he finds corners comforting}

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {just as like}

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {a thing}

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {yes}

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {He gets a bit uneasy around perfect spheres

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ No corners}*

 _[_ 11:06 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {the rooms and passages in his hive are really oddly shaped for max corneriness}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {yes}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {oh my god}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {you know those binder seperator things}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {he keeps one on hand to sit next to it}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {and hug it}

 _[_ 11:07 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {in private, of course.}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {what are those}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {they use them for tests}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {it's shaped like a weird folder thing}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {MAXIMUM CORNERS}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {good corners}

 _[_ 11:08 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {when he's really stressed he puts one over his head}

 _[_ 11:09 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {yees}

11:10 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {yes anyway}

 _[_ 11:10 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I, uH...

 _[_ 11:10 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I woulD likE tO apologizE foR mY behavioR.

 _[_ 11:11 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I jusT goT a biT, uH...

 _[_ 11:11 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ LonelY.

 _[_ 11:13 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Oh my fucking god you ridiculous fishdick go and stroke your mutant bulge in the privacy of your own hive. Have sweet dreams about my perforated ribs. Fucking something. Just get ouuuuut." Tanaly wrinkles her face up at him, but her amount of dislike seems to have returned to its old habitable level. It's weird having him apologise straight up.

 _[_ 11:14 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {  . /25c2f793785551f1cdc4d76ab133ce55/tumblr_ogotgwLvBx1udkyzko1_  ALL STATS UP}

 _[_ 11:14 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ SomethinG tO cleaR uP:

 _[_ 11:14 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I actuallY dO noT finD corpseS attractivE.

 _[_ 11:15 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I fucking know thaaaaat just leave you chumbucket"

 _[_ 11:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ Wouldn'T I jusT leT yoU diE iF I diD?

 _[_ 11:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;)

 _[_ 11:15 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {lag}

 _[_ 11:15 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Oh, god, she remembers, there's a dead guy in her respiteblock-

 _[_ 11:16 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "I'm gonna throw you down the fucking ladder shitlicker get the fuck back into the sea"

 _[_ 11:16 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ I'lL feeD mY lusuS witH hiS bodY.

 _[_ 11:16 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {LUSUS IS ShARK LIKE CREATURE I AM CALLING IT NOW}

 _[_ 11:16 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {yes}

 _[_ 11:16 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ "Good. Get the dead guy. Get out. Now."

 _[_ 11:17 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd throw his body out the window, and sit on the windowseal.)

 _[_ 11:17 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ (I'd give a wink as I climbed down the latter)

 _[_ 11:17 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ ;)

 _[_ 11:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ Something grabs you by the horn and nearly peels you off the ladder, but fades out abruptly. You can hear Tanaly going "ow fuck" again from indoors and probably looking for something to stop her nosebleed with.

 _[_ 11:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ A few nights later.

 _[_ 11:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ \- anonymousCrank began trolling cumulativeCurrent -

 _[_ 11:18 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ hey;

 _[_ 11:18 PM _]_ **Benis Wright, Fake Attorney** _:_ {woah hold up}

 _[_ 11:19 PM _]_ **MOTHER FUCKER ENGAGE RIDLEY** _:_ {shit sorry}


End file.
